The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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