Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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