do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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