All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize