is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
