i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
