worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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