We're facebook friends in real life
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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