i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have already put on my inside pants.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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