it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
