I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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