Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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