There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
