You made me cry and you don't even care
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What a dumb baby whore.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
