You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
