remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
