her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
