i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
