I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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