I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
