Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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