You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
