you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
