I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
