i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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