The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
