my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
