Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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