Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
