So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize