he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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