She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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