It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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