umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
