Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
