Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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