if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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