I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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