sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
