Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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