And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
