I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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