I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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