I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
