Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
