return my video game
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
