i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
