dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
