why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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