What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
