Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize