Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A bitchslap is in order.
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