At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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