I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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