So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
