My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
