try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
