It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is Oprah even human
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Text me some of your sweat
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
