so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
