You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
