Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
