Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
