he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
