In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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