dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
