So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
