After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
