going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
